Jim, I thought you wanted this instead of the "jetpack".

All I want for Christmas....

USC is closing the Biscuit House to make way for a damn parking lot. WTF?!?

Spurrier wants to un-retire Sterling Sharpe's No. 2 to let an incoming recruit wear the number. Sharpe isn't happy about it.

I don't care one way or another, but it is kinda tacky to ask for a number back after you've honored a player by retiring his number.

Ever wondered what happened to USC mathlete/QB Blake Mitchell? He's going pro! AH HA HA HA HA!

Someone please tell me this is a joke. A "day at the races with Andre"? I think I'm going to be sick.

Can you hear me now? :(

Based on how hard it was for one of our clients to sell a house in Detroit because of local ordinances and housing codes, this sale price still seems high.

Now I know what to get Seel for Christmas: A Doctor Fish Massage!

Breaking news for parents in NY: playground equipment sitting in the blazing sun gets hot.

Behold the "edgy", news-making, square milk jug. (News clip, so noise warning.)

Cutest effing thing ever.

We are so screwed. One can't stay out of jail and one wants to go home to mommy. *sigh* Must be the chicken curse.

Which tones can you hear? The only way these ringtones would help me is if I was working in a nursing home or taking a geriatric basket weaving class!

USC has a new men's basketball coach...and he's younger than all of us!

Spurrier needs to cut this guy loose.

In yet more vagina news, New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin declares that he's a "vagina-friendly mayor." Um, yeah. I got nothing after that.

Look out anonymous! They're after you.

I don't know if this is simply another lame attempt to hide a political message in a crappy movie, or if it's the funniest movie plot ever. A movie called "Nailed" is going to be filmed in Columbia. The plot? An uninsured, small-town receptionist (Jessica Biel) becomes sex-crazed after a maintenance worker accidentally shoots a nail into her head. She goes to Washington to fight for the rights of “bizarrely injured” people where she meets an immoral congressman (Jake "Brokeback" Gyllenhaal) who takes advantage of her sex drive.

One of the co-writers of the film is Kristin Gore, the former vice president’s daughter. *snort* This is just too good to be true. Maybe there's another Oscar in store for the Gores.

Have you ever wondered who fills the dance cards for March madness?

Bracketography seems to be a solid site and a nice alternative to ESPN and other sites that are so commercial.

Brilliant! Now if they could only make one for restaurants that would drive off families with screaming children. :P

Damn...what a way to get started in this life.

Why isn't this many counts of animal abuse a felony? I hope our Ag. Dept. cuts this asshat loose if he's found guilty.

Oh, hell no. There's no way Ree would have stood for this! We all know what happened to the snake that ate the baby birds in her yard.

Since last week, students have been selling t-shirts and various vagina memorabilia. Really? This is what passes for education? A woman dressed as a giant vagina? At least she has this year's Halloween costume needs covered.

Oh no! No more Jerry Kelly's. I used to get a wicked salad for lunch in there when I worked at SC Tees. *sigh*

What's your travel IQ?

I wonder exactly which laws he broke since he didn't carry out his plan.

So you successfully pull off the third biggest heist in US history and what do you do? Go somewhere exotic with no extradition? Or get busted in a Fayetteville motel with a stripper?

This sure isn't something I would have died to save.