|
|
|
|
|
4/22/2001 |
|
|
Subject: Psssst. Hey ladies.... I don't feel like working today. Anything fun going on? >>> Response >>> I don't feel like working either! I feel like going home, putting on sweats, curling up on the couch with a pillow and blanket, watching a stupid '80s brat pack flick, and snacking on fritos and onion dip. Mmmmm..... Subject: Re: Psssst. Hey ladies.... Are you prego? Fritos and Onion dip??? Onion dip is only enhanced by the generous scooping pleasure of a Ruffles. The thick kind with the ridges. Maybe Wavy Lays also. Full fat on both counts of course. A frito would just dishonor the cool, creamy goodness that is Onion Dip. Leaving Frito dust behind to befoul any other crispy delectable that follows. Besides they aren't big enough to get a scoop of dip on that you can savor. The mess and brain power needed to figure out the best dipping tactics are contrary to relaxation and enjoyment. I'll agree with most everything. Replace the Fritos with Ruffles and throw a couple of kitties on and under the blanket and you have a true blue-day snacking moment. >>> Response >>> I'm afraid you've missed out on the savory goodness that is the Frito. Pairing the Frito with onion dip results in the perfect mix of corn and onion that is a true delicacy. By the way, there's a reason onion dip is called "dip" not "scoop." But if you must indulge in a slightly heavier-than-normal portion, Frito-Lay has accomodated you. They now make Frito Scoops. Their ability to hold massive volumes of onion dip far surpasses the thin, tasteless Ruffles chips. And if these aren't plentiful reasons to change your mind about Fritos, try to recall the early commercials with the Frito Bandito as spokescharacter. Now, that was a marketing campaign! What can I say....I have a thing for hispanics! And, no, I'm not prego. Subject: Re: Psssst. Hey ladies.... In your rush limbaugh style you have fully missed the point, altered the facts and just plain got it wrong. There is nothing savory about a chip that can suck the moisture from the wet you have behind your ears. Corn and onion only compliment each other when paired with other vegies. A nice salsa maybe. NOT a chip and dip combo. Fried potato, onion and creamy goodness is what heaven is made of. Read the bible and you will see. Heretic!!! The soft mixture of joy would never be called a scoop. Only someone lost and trying to disguise ignorance would post such a gaffe. The implement of transporting the onion goodness would be a scoop. Which frito couldn't do anything but create scoops. They fool you with their marketing busy work. Just look at what it leaves behind. A strip mine gash in the dip. Where as a wavy ruffle leaves something similar to a soul lifting rock garden pattern after being glided through the wondrous onion salve. Thin tasteless ruffle. Did you not read my previous post? Do you normally turn a blind eye to the facts that shine light on the difference between savages and refined people? As for the commercial. A Frito Bandito is not reason enough to return the primordial muck that has been dried and covered with a cornmeal substitute. Maybe your taco bell lifestyle will let you sink into the oblivion of poor taste, but don't try to sully the ruffle and onion dip wonder of the world with your ill use of fact and mind control. >>> Response >>> Mark, you poor misguided creature. I don't know what you've been snacking on, but I don't generally use my fritos to sop up anything moist behind any body part. Please don't tell me any more details about your sick, twisted, food orgies. As for the ongoing difference of opinion you and I have, I still do not understand how a sane person could prefer the flimsy, nay flaccid, nature of the Ruffle over the firm, sturdy strength of the Frito. Fritos are dependable. They maintain their rigid integrity throughout onion dip navigation, which sometimes lasts for hours. They never falter and drip dip on one's shirt. Ruffles, on the other hand, are unreliable, often breaking in mid-scoop, thus disappointing the user with a less-than-stellar performance. For crying out loud, they even have a girly name! Subject: Re: Psssst. Hey ladies.... Again you employ the rush limbaugh method of ignorance. I applaud you for expanding into the geraldo variation. I half expected a grunt and entrails laden femur from some recent kill to fly at me. Let me augment my previous "diatribe". The Sahara nature of a frito can dry the wet you have behind your ears just by putting it in your mouth. Amazing fact that is after leaving a crumbly filled grease coating on your fingers. I might be wrong. I am furthur evolved than you and I am not encumbered by the layer of hair you are endowed with. I did not mean to bring in any type of abnormal mating rituals you may be privy to. Pagan worship and aberrant sexual behaviors may be your style, but don't besmirch the ethereal grandeur of the Ruffle / Onion dip union with them. I will address your somewhat correct, but miss used, reference to the flimsy nature of the Ruffle. You have found your first correct fact. I applaud you. A Ruffle is flimsier than a Frito. That is another thing that makes the Ruffle a better choice. Savages are used to pulling flesh directly from a bone in a gnashing, snarling, feral manner. It is with this same instinct you jab into onion dip with the fervor of a Jack the Ripper style slaying, leaving the beauty of the onion dip twisted and mangled and often flung to the surrounding furniture. I fully recognize the "firm, sturdy strength" of the frito. I really succumb to that fact when a jagged edge splits my spleen open while making its way through my then shredded intestine. ...even after an inordinate amount of chewing. I'm sure the jagged dagger like pieces of frito remind you of the flint tools you use to bring down a passing opossum. A Ruffle should never be used in such a manner. Even when someone abuses the Ruffle it still takes it and states forcefully that it can handle more! Even the style of the Ruffle is a testament to the enhancement of the onion dip. The graceful curve, the functional way the flowing chip allows itself to be plucked from its vessel as a single perfect entity. Whereas the frito often tangles itself with others demanding that you disjoin them, often requiring two hands. This often puts the user into a state of mind that isn't good for others around them. This is what made John Hinkley attempt to kill the president. Read his book and you will see. The efficiency, effectiveness and ergonomics of the Ruffle are far superior to that of the frito. It diminishes you as a woman to say a girly name make something of lesser value. I understand your political and religious beliefs make you feel less of a person because you are a female. Let me lift you out that stigma you spread and bear with these thoughts of the Ruffle name. Grace Kelley, Audry Hepburn, Lauren Bacall, Susan B. Anthony, Aretha Franklin and even Sister Theresa have "girly" names. They do not reek of the wretched summations you put forth. When you feel better about yourself, women and life itself I am sure you will see why the Ruffle and Onion Dip make the world a better place. |
|
"It's not the men in my life but the life in my men." Mae West |
